Tales of a Tired Momma

Once upon a time...
That's how these stories usually go. Unfortunately, this one was "once upon-ed" nightly.
But I digress...

Once upon a time, there was a tired mother and her little boy. While this little boy of hers was magnificent in her eyes and brought smiles to all those he met, he had one fault.
He did not like to sleep.
Every night, the boy and his mother would cuddle, dance, watch movies, everything under the *moon* to make the little boy sleepy. And night after night, the boy would stay awake until his little eyes refused to stay open any longer.
There was some reasoning behind the little boys schedule and while that is another tale entirely, I shall share a little of it with you.
The little boy, his mother, father, and their two black steeds (dogs..hehe) had just made a long journey across the great ocean to a new land. While this land woke up to the same sun as their homeland and slept under the same moon as their homeland, this land had their sun and moon backwards. So, the little boy and his mother had to make their eyes tired with the moon of the new land and for the little boy this was deemed as quite a difficult task.
The mother tried everything. Some nights the moon shined upon her and smiled, for it was those nights that the little boy was asleep before the sun rose to greet them. Through it all, the mother (mostly) kept her wits about her. Sometimes, she let her eyes rest and let her ears keep her little boy safe. While that never lasted long, it helped for the minutes it did work.
The mother felt lucky, even on the long nights, because the little boy was rarely sad. He just wanted to play and what mother can fault a child for that? So, they played and cuddled until the little boy had finally had enough. Then, (and this is my favorite part) he would curl up into his mothers arms and drift off into the sweetest of dreams.

There is no real moral for this story because this story has not met its end. I guess the moral is, "Mothers of little ones who choose to play with the moon, keep your anger in, for they deserve your smile even in the dark of night. Keep love in your heart and in your arms and you hold them as they finally drift off in their dreams".
For it will happen, they will fall asleep. If they are anything like my little one, who is too much like me sometimes, they will sleep when THEY are ready. So, rest your spirit (and eyes when you can).

Over the Ocean and through the Mountains...

I wish I was on the way to my grandmother's house. I miss her bunches.
We've been in Italy for 20 days now. It's been a long 20 days, it seems. We are still living at the Inn on post. 2 more weeks before we to move into our house. One of our shipments of stuff has arrived. That's good news. Hopefully in the next 2 weeks our other shipment will come and we can move us and everything else into the house at once.
We have a car now so we can do more exploring. It is a beautiful country out here. I want to know the story behind every building. Ha, nerd.
Cam is getting back onto a normal schedule. Well he was until his molars starting coming in. Now he's back to staying up because his little mouth hurts and keeps him up. But he's still on a more normal schedule than a week or so ago when he was staying up until 5am. That was an adventure. I learned the art of baby massage, napping within his reach while he plays, and the power of a good cuddle. I love that little guy.
We had a small Thanksgiving in our room. We managed a pretty good meal out of our 2 burner stove and a microwave. :) We've also had the chance to eat out on the town a few times now. We've had some good pizza, a yummy salad, more delicious pizza, amazing sushi, and a good assortment of coffee drinks. Eating here may be the key to happiness. Until I can get out and get some shopping done. :)
Our hotel is really nice. They have movies at the front desk, free coffee drinks, and I will miss the housekeeping staff when we move into our house. I am grateful though that we have a separate bedroom or else no one would be getting any sleep and we would be very, VERY grumpy.
I've seen my friend from Norman. It was so nice to see a familiar face in this still strange land. I've made a new friend here close to post as well. I've got to put myself out there more, which is very hard for me. But here I go anyway. It hasn't turned out bad so far. :)

I miss home, terribly. I miss my Clarksville friends. I miss my Norman family. I am so grateful for Skype and FB chat. I believe I have handled this change in our lives well enough because I've been able to see and talk to my mom and some of my friends.
Well, that's an update from our new world. :)

More to come soon!
Until then....

Heartstrings and Other Things

It's been a while..this I know. Life got in my face and didn't give me a chance to look away.
We are still heading to Italy..sometime by the end of the year.
Cam is 10 months old now and on his way to walking. He looks a little like Frankenstein but it's a blast to watch him.

Chris has been gone for a month now..some Army school. He'll be home by the end of the month, and that day is still too far away. He is greatly missed around our home.
Cam and I have been keeping busy. We took a trip to Oklahoma to see family. Thank goodness for my mom, who flew up to help with the drive. It was a much nicer drive than the last time. Last time: we tested fate and drove through the worst storm I have ever been out of my house to witness. People actually died. Cars were blown from the road, there were tornadoes in 3 different directions. And then rain, wind, hail and darkness. I still wonder how we survived. Mom and I are still a little emotionally scarred from that one.
This trip, was sunny and daytime. Quite fabulous and some good quality time with my mom. It was very hard to say goodbye after 20 straight days of being with her. I do love her.

We rarely seem to have a normal moment...

Being in Oklahoma was nice. It's always nice to be home. I got to take Cam to the zoo. He picked out a monkey. Yes, all by himself. I would've paid $100 dollars for that silly monkey just from his reaction when he saw it. He reached for it on the shelf, took it, and ate his face. It was made for him. :)

His other present from the zoo. :)

He fell asleep in his floatie. :) Best nap Ever!

I got some fabulous time with my ya-ya's and all the special times that come with them.

Yum-o!

Beyond Special..and I miss them so.

The most influential and important women in my life. 

Also, while we were home, Cam got his first haircut! It wasn't much but it had to be done. No one but *Great* Aunt Pam was allowed to have the first cut. 

I don't think he even knew what was going on behind him. Ha!

Now we are back in our home. The house that is still for sale and the stress that comes with that may be the end of me. I don't know what else I can do. I'm still emptying it and packing when and where I can. But I am just one little soul and with such a mobile little monster, I have such a limited time to get what needs to be done, done. But I keep chugging along. It will all get done, in due time. In time, I will also not feel like a married-single mom. I miss my better half, for sure.

Alright, enough of my rambles. It's time for a nap for my monster.
Until then...
Be brave in all things. :)

My Mind is So Far From Home

I've never experienced a big move. I moved into the dorms at SNU (Southern Nazarene University) when I was 18. Moved completely out of my parents house when I was 20 after changing schools. Moved back into my parents house about a year later for my 4th year of college...and my 3rd college. :) Then made the biggest move I know after I got married and moved to Tennessee. But the Army packed and moved us..so it was easy. And yes, they will be moving us to Italy but I was not a homeowner at the time. I just had stuff. It was me and my stuff moving from place to place. Renting apartments are easy to move out of. But 5 years of living in a house...you accumulate a lot more STUFF!

A lot of this stuff, I don't want to take to Italy. I have no idea of our living arrangement there but I doubt we will have all the nooks and crannies that we have now to hide and keep our stuff. So, the cleaning has commenced. Problem is, I don't know what to do with half of this stuff b/c it's not mine! I see no need for it, but my darling husband has a need to keep...everything. Which makes my cleaning even more difficult. I'm trying though. I've worked through most of the house. Just the office closet (from hell..HA!) and to straighten the pantry left. Oh, and the guest bathroom cabinet. I'll probably find more.

The den is our catch-all room. All our stuff ends up here since the only part of the room we really use is the computer desk. That, amazingly, stays pretty clean. Haha!

But you take the cleaning and add the giant list of other things that need to be done (painters come in a week for the interior so I have some cleaning to do before they come, then possibly staining the deck and fence, keeping the yard neat and the flowers alive) and then the stress of selling a house in this economy. My mind is not focused. I can't sleep and when I do I have wicked weird dreams that I can not explain. I feel grumpy and my patience level seems at an all-time low.

I just hope that once things start getting checked off my list and we can get the house on the market, I can stress about less and find my focus again. I know it will all work out in the end. If not, I guess I'm taking a bunch of stuff to Italy. Hahaha! I guess I can always recycle it all once I get there.

Until then, it's time for a walk (the best de-stresser for baby and me).  :)

A Short Letter of Love

Today seems like a good day to talk about my husband.

He's a soldier in the U.S. Army. Although I celebrate him every day, today is the day when everyone should celebrate and thank not just my husband but all and any armed forces hero.

Hero. There is no greater word for what he does. Granted, being home, he goes to work and come home like any other civilian worker. But unlike workers, businessmen, non-military civilians, Chris has to pack up his world at least once a year and leave us for a mostly undetermined amount of time. Deployments break my heart every time. They don't get easier. I have some experience...we've done 5. They suck. Simply put.

But every time he comes home, I am more grateful that he's mine. I wouldn't change this path we've chosen. It's made us stronger. It has showed me what Love is. What Hope stands for. And what heartache truly feels like. While I fight to keep normalcy in our home life..he goes off to a foreign country and makes it into the best "home" he can. I don't think either of us feel very "homey" or safe when he's gone.

Chris, is a hard worker, a little OCD at work (and home), but he takes pride in his work, he has high standards for himself and makes sure he's ready for whatever he may be needed for. He is so much more than I have space to write. I have never been more proud of anyone.

I doubt I say it enough, but Thank You my Love. For all your hard work, your sacrifice, your love.
I love you more than words.

When Nature Knocks on Your Door....

....I suggest, you don't answer it.

Not unless you want robins in your house. :)

Here's my tale...

I like wreaths on the front door of my house. They make a house seem inviting, festive, friendly..etc. My Christmas/winter wreath is a beautiful one made of twigs, leaves and berries.

Now, if you look closely, you'll see Momma Robin in her nest...on top of my wreath.

She worked so hard on it. And with that went the use of humans using my front door.

Then came the eggs. One.

Two.

Three.

And a few weeks later..the babies were born. :)

 They grew and grew.

One baby left in the nest...

 

Look closely. That's the last little baby bird, sitting on the bottom railing.

I was sad to see them go, but definitely glad to be able to use my front door again. :)

Out of Germany, Into Italy

Well, at least I can say, "I'm still going to Europe!".
The Army (the indecisive mistress that she is) can not exactly decide where she wants us.
Silly Army.
That's okay, though. As of now, (fingers crossed) we are set to embark on a journey to Vicenza, Italy!


Beautiful...belle.

I must admit, when I was told that we were no longer moving to Germany, my sweet little Bamberg town, I was disappointed. I had imagined myself walking the streets of that 7 hill town and found myself smiling. But I can smile in Italy. I can smile while I drink wine, eat gelato, buy Italian clothes and shoes. Yeah, I think I'll do just fine in Italy. Besides, I've always wanted to learn Italian. Long before we were ever moving...the language called to me. I guess it was fate. :)

Until then..."continuare a scattare per quella luna". :)

It hits you like BAM!

Here we go! Bamberg, Germany. A beautiful little town (from what I can tell from the pictures) built on 7 hills. The place my family and I will call "home" by the end of the year.


Bamberg :)
Yes, my friends, it's true. We are starting a BIG adventure. One that I am very excited about! I have had my moments of anxiety (and many more to follow, I'm sure). I have to keep telling myself, "we are moving to another country". I feel better when I think of it as an extended vacation.

We don't know how long we shall be living in this enchanting new land, but I am determined to see it all while we are there. Castles, Palaces!, the history, the forests, cobblestone roads, the autobahn, cathedrals that have stood the test of time for centuries! The list goes on....


Cathedral in Bamberg
 
Seehof Palace, near Bamberg

First things first, we have to get our lives in order. Meaning, the house, finances, all of our STUFF. Oh my! It's amazing what two people can accumulate into a house in five years. Simply amazing. I refuse to take it ALL with us, so I have started the sloooow process of sorting through it all. Fun? Eh, not so much. Although it does feel good to get rid of some of it. A sense of relief when you feel less cluttered. It's good for the soul. :)

We still have a few months to get things in order, thankfully. I will update as we check things off the list.
Oh yeah, I should make that list....

Until then..here's to another night under the American sky.

Between my Rock and my heart's place

The news came today that we might be moving. Not down the street, not the next town over, not even the next state over. No, the news came today that we might be moving to Germany. I am both excited and more than a little scared.

I'm excited because, how cool would that be! It's Europe! It's Germany! And the Army is going to pay us to go! Think of all the sights and places we'll get to see! And we'll be there for a few years (pro and con to that) so we'll get to take our time and really get to see everything there is to see. I'm also excited because I get to see it all with Chris. I always said I wanted to see the world with him and here's my chance to knock out a chunk! On the Army side of things, we are in need of a change..and this just may be it.

I'm scared, anxious, whatever you want to call it. Before we moved to Tennessee, I had never been more than 30 minutes away from my family and that wasn't until college! As of now, I am around 12 or so hours from them. Germany is considerably further, to say the least.

We've been in Tennessee for about 5 years now. So I have adjusted to the distance from family. The long drive home (that doesn't happen often enough), my daily phone calls with my mom, the emailing of pictures of Cam and our other adventures. We try to keep home close.

It's a lot to take in and it's not even a for sure thing yet. So, I may be getting all worked up for nothing. Wouldn't be the first time! :)

I'll keep you updated, I'm sure, as the details roll in.
Until then..let's go star wishing.

If I'm going out, I'm going out in flames!

Some say the world will end in fire;
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

-Robert Frost

This has nothing to do with where my thoughts are really going..but I like it anyway.

To my original thinkngs...
Getting out of the house, used to not be such a chore. It was a simple list..make sure the dogs have been fed and had some time outside, get self ready, and go. See? Easy.

Nowadays, its not so simple.
First, we need a nap.
After that, Cam must eat and then the count down begins. I have to get both of us ready and out of the house in a very quick fashion in order to have sufficient time to accomplish the tasks before he gets hungry again. It's not hard to feed him while we are out but, nothing can be accomplished during that time so I'd much rather just be home.

To accomplish actually getting just to the car these days, requires about 5 of me.

I'd settle for at least another pair of arms and a couple sets of legs and an extra face to keep Cam happy.

I have to make sure the diaper bag is packed for at least a week's worth of feedings and changings. I have to grab the coupons, my green bags (I try to help mother nature when I can), and whatever clothes or supplies need to be returned for their various reasons. All of this STUFF, has to make it to the car before baby or I do..or all is lost. After that I double check the house, as if I'm never returning, then it's one more diaper change (every mother knows that their baby has impeccable timing in this) and we are FINALLY out the door.

I used to be okay with slight wanderings and meanderings and going a little off course during my time out of the house..now..we get in, get what we need, and get home. My motherly OCD has officially kicked in! Everybody better watch out!

Luckily, I have a very happy baby who is more than willing (whether he has a choice or not) to be pulled in and out of the car multiple times and pushed around in random carts. I am more than thankful for him every single day.

So far, we have survived most of our outings with no injuries.
There was that one long drive home from Nashville once..hunger hit and there was no consoling the poor baby.

We are getting more brave and having longer outings..and with the better weather, that should be showing up more consistently soon, it will be easier to take him out and about.

Until then... :)

Bookends are nice... But I hate when a book ends

I finished another book today. No surprise there since I love to read. I love to get lost in the books I read. If you can't draw me into your world..it's unlikely I'll stick around.

The latest world I got sucked into was a wonderful book called A Discovery of Witches: A Novel by Deborah Harkness. It's a facinating book about a witch, a vampire, history, and love. I don't want to give too much away so I won't say much more...but it's a good one! It makes me sad that I have to wait until next YEAR sometime to read the next one. (It's a trilogy! YAY!) I'm sure I'll find myself reading the first one again..yes, it was that good.

No, it's not Twilight or really anything like it other than the fact that it does involve a protective vampire. (I read The Twilight Series and did love those books as well..but this was a bit more grown up).

As for my most recent obsession, it was an accident that I even found it. I saw a review in a magazine and then recognized the cover in a bookstore email I received later on. The idea of being a creature other than human has always enticed me so I tend to fall for books by the same nature. So I found it on our Kindle, read a summary, bought it immediately and dove right in.

I love books that can take me away from reality just enough that I can be lost. But I like enough reality to them that if one were to wish hard enough, it could all come true. The Harry Potter Series and the Twilight Series are good examples of books that are magically realistic and easy to fall into.

I have loved to read for as long as I can remember. The first books I remember not being able to put down was a series called Thoroughbred.
I went through a horse phase. :)

In high school, I credit my English teacher, Mrs. Swisher, for encouraging me (and all her students) to read. She brought to life To Kill a Mockingbird, and it has been a favorite ever since. My mom was always a big reader. And what little girl doesn't want to be like her mommy?? So I read books. I read them to be like her. I read them to be close to her. We don't exactly have the same taste in books but every now and then a title will catch both our eyes.

Back to my latest Discovery :) I think it would be super fun to be a witch or creature other than simple human. A girl can dream, yes? I can get so wrapped up in them sometimes that it's hard to transfer my concentration into a new one. Which usually means, I have to wait a bit before starting a new book. I have such a visual mind when I read, that I fall into the characters. It's fun to get lost in something without ever leaving home.

I have hopes that Cam will at least like to read. I won't force it on him, of course, I just hope he can find the magic in them like I do.

I don't know what I'll read next, but I'll find an adventure in it, I'm sure.
Until then...I'll just keep shooting for that moon. :)

Dancing and Other Rituals

Night Time.
This is the time of day that I have a love/hate relationship with.

On the Love side we have that I love rocking Cam to sleep. I also love the playlist I've made for him. Full of Norah Jones, Switchfoot, Adele, songs from the Twilight Saga soundtracks, even some of the softer stuff from Breaking Benjamin and Blink 182.
We like variety.

This playlist is what holds my sanity intact on the nights when my sweet baby only wants to sleep in my arms and not in his crib. And while this is lovingly adorable..this momma likes to sleep in her bed. Even just for a few hours.

Which brings us to the dark side of the moon.
As any mom can probably attest to, once you put your baby down, even in the blissful state of sleep they appear to be in, there is about 20 minutes of holding your breath and hoping that everything within a 20 mile radius of baby doesn't move or make a sound.
In the case of Cam and I, he usually wakes up at least once. Depending on his emotional state when he does wake up determines my next movements. This can involve rocking, bouncing, twirling, the occasional jumping, an attempt at a waltz like dance or other seemingly graceful moves. I sing (poor kid). I "shhh" until I am breathless. I pat his back. I'll even massage his chubby little legs. I'd do just about anything for this kid, I suppose.
We always end with the rocking and usually a little singing.
I can't help myself sometimes. :)

Needless to say, on an average day, I am the last one in bed and certaintly the last one to sleep. For even after I finally get Cam down for the night, said good night to the dogs, I sometimes have my husband, sleepily, waiting on me. I am his calming force at night I guess. It doesn't take 5 minutes after I lie down for him to fall asleep but he needed me there.

That's a good feeling. To be needed.

But to be rested. That's a good feeling too.

Enjoy!

From the beginning of now....
I have been more than happily married for almost 5 years now.
Chris (the husband) is an Army man. He is hardworking and takes a lot of pride in whatever he does.
I guess that's what I admire most about him.

I am a new mom to my hilarious Baby Bean.
The nickname "Bean" comes from his daddy who is the "Original Bean".
Cam (the baby) is our newest pride and joy. He continuously puts a smile on my face. I love to watch him learn new things every day.

This is the first time..in many moons now..that I don't have a job.
by "job" I mean a place I have to get up, get dressed and go to.
Being a stay-at-home mom has its perks. The best one being that I get to see my Baby Bean grow.
Who is trying to eat my arm as I write this.
To see him laugh and play every day is a dream come true.

And you thought I'd say *sleep* was the best perk! HA! I'm still waiting for that perk to arrive, my friends.

I'm getting better at the housewife part, I think. I love to cook, but the energy to do so sometimes escapes me. And it takes me a couple days to work up the motivation to really clean. But I'd do anything to make the husband's life easier after a day at "the office".

For this blog, I hope to achieve nothing more than a place to put my funny thoughts and moments and my more than occasional randomness. Sometimes, we all just need a place to put the words in our heads, right?

Being a mom is still new to me. Being a wife is still a learning experience for all involved.

Enjoy!