Dancing and Other Rituals

Night Time.
This is the time of day that I have a love/hate relationship with.

On the Love side we have that I love rocking Cam to sleep. I also love the playlist I've made for him. Full of Norah Jones, Switchfoot, Adele, songs from the Twilight Saga soundtracks, even some of the softer stuff from Breaking Benjamin and Blink 182.
We like variety.

This playlist is what holds my sanity intact on the nights when my sweet baby only wants to sleep in my arms and not in his crib. And while this is lovingly adorable..this momma likes to sleep in her bed. Even just for a few hours.

Which brings us to the dark side of the moon.
As any mom can probably attest to, once you put your baby down, even in the blissful state of sleep they appear to be in, there is about 20 minutes of holding your breath and hoping that everything within a 20 mile radius of baby doesn't move or make a sound.
In the case of Cam and I, he usually wakes up at least once. Depending on his emotional state when he does wake up determines my next movements. This can involve rocking, bouncing, twirling, the occasional jumping, an attempt at a waltz like dance or other seemingly graceful moves. I sing (poor kid). I "shhh" until I am breathless. I pat his back. I'll even massage his chubby little legs. I'd do just about anything for this kid, I suppose.
We always end with the rocking and usually a little singing.
I can't help myself sometimes. :)

Needless to say, on an average day, I am the last one in bed and certaintly the last one to sleep. For even after I finally get Cam down for the night, said good night to the dogs, I sometimes have my husband, sleepily, waiting on me. I am his calming force at night I guess. It doesn't take 5 minutes after I lie down for him to fall asleep but he needed me there.

That's a good feeling. To be needed.

But to be rested. That's a good feeling too.