If I'm going out, I'm going out in flames!

Some say the world will end in fire;
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

-Robert Frost

This has nothing to do with where my thoughts are really going..but I like it anyway.

To my original thinkngs...
Getting out of the house, used to not be such a chore. It was a simple list..make sure the dogs have been fed and had some time outside, get self ready, and go. See? Easy.

Nowadays, its not so simple.
First, we need a nap.
After that, Cam must eat and then the count down begins. I have to get both of us ready and out of the house in a very quick fashion in order to have sufficient time to accomplish the tasks before he gets hungry again. It's not hard to feed him while we are out but, nothing can be accomplished during that time so I'd much rather just be home.

To accomplish actually getting just to the car these days, requires about 5 of me.

I'd settle for at least another pair of arms and a couple sets of legs and an extra face to keep Cam happy.

I have to make sure the diaper bag is packed for at least a week's worth of feedings and changings. I have to grab the coupons, my green bags (I try to help mother nature when I can), and whatever clothes or supplies need to be returned for their various reasons. All of this STUFF, has to make it to the car before baby or I do..or all is lost. After that I double check the house, as if I'm never returning, then it's one more diaper change (every mother knows that their baby has impeccable timing in this) and we are FINALLY out the door.

I used to be okay with slight wanderings and meanderings and going a little off course during my time out of the house..now..we get in, get what we need, and get home. My motherly OCD has officially kicked in! Everybody better watch out!

Luckily, I have a very happy baby who is more than willing (whether he has a choice or not) to be pulled in and out of the car multiple times and pushed around in random carts. I am more than thankful for him every single day.

So far, we have survived most of our outings with no injuries.
There was that one long drive home from Nashville once..hunger hit and there was no consoling the poor baby.

We are getting more brave and having longer outings..and with the better weather, that should be showing up more consistently soon, it will be easier to take him out and about.

Until then... :)

Bookends are nice... But I hate when a book ends

I finished another book today. No surprise there since I love to read. I love to get lost in the books I read. If you can't draw me into your world..it's unlikely I'll stick around.

The latest world I got sucked into was a wonderful book called A Discovery of Witches: A Novel by Deborah Harkness. It's a facinating book about a witch, a vampire, history, and love. I don't want to give too much away so I won't say much more...but it's a good one! It makes me sad that I have to wait until next YEAR sometime to read the next one. (It's a trilogy! YAY!) I'm sure I'll find myself reading the first one again..yes, it was that good.

No, it's not Twilight or really anything like it other than the fact that it does involve a protective vampire. (I read The Twilight Series and did love those books as well..but this was a bit more grown up).

As for my most recent obsession, it was an accident that I even found it. I saw a review in a magazine and then recognized the cover in a bookstore email I received later on. The idea of being a creature other than human has always enticed me so I tend to fall for books by the same nature. So I found it on our Kindle, read a summary, bought it immediately and dove right in.

I love books that can take me away from reality just enough that I can be lost. But I like enough reality to them that if one were to wish hard enough, it could all come true. The Harry Potter Series and the Twilight Series are good examples of books that are magically realistic and easy to fall into.

I have loved to read for as long as I can remember. The first books I remember not being able to put down was a series called Thoroughbred.
I went through a horse phase. :)

In high school, I credit my English teacher, Mrs. Swisher, for encouraging me (and all her students) to read. She brought to life To Kill a Mockingbird, and it has been a favorite ever since. My mom was always a big reader. And what little girl doesn't want to be like her mommy?? So I read books. I read them to be like her. I read them to be close to her. We don't exactly have the same taste in books but every now and then a title will catch both our eyes.

Back to my latest Discovery :) I think it would be super fun to be a witch or creature other than simple human. A girl can dream, yes? I can get so wrapped up in them sometimes that it's hard to transfer my concentration into a new one. Which usually means, I have to wait a bit before starting a new book. I have such a visual mind when I read, that I fall into the characters. It's fun to get lost in something without ever leaving home.

I have hopes that Cam will at least like to read. I won't force it on him, of course, I just hope he can find the magic in them like I do.

I don't know what I'll read next, but I'll find an adventure in it, I'm sure.
Until then...I'll just keep shooting for that moon. :)

Dancing and Other Rituals

Night Time.
This is the time of day that I have a love/hate relationship with.

On the Love side we have that I love rocking Cam to sleep. I also love the playlist I've made for him. Full of Norah Jones, Switchfoot, Adele, songs from the Twilight Saga soundtracks, even some of the softer stuff from Breaking Benjamin and Blink 182.
We like variety.

This playlist is what holds my sanity intact on the nights when my sweet baby only wants to sleep in my arms and not in his crib. And while this is lovingly adorable..this momma likes to sleep in her bed. Even just for a few hours.

Which brings us to the dark side of the moon.
As any mom can probably attest to, once you put your baby down, even in the blissful state of sleep they appear to be in, there is about 20 minutes of holding your breath and hoping that everything within a 20 mile radius of baby doesn't move or make a sound.
In the case of Cam and I, he usually wakes up at least once. Depending on his emotional state when he does wake up determines my next movements. This can involve rocking, bouncing, twirling, the occasional jumping, an attempt at a waltz like dance or other seemingly graceful moves. I sing (poor kid). I "shhh" until I am breathless. I pat his back. I'll even massage his chubby little legs. I'd do just about anything for this kid, I suppose.
We always end with the rocking and usually a little singing.
I can't help myself sometimes. :)

Needless to say, on an average day, I am the last one in bed and certaintly the last one to sleep. For even after I finally get Cam down for the night, said good night to the dogs, I sometimes have my husband, sleepily, waiting on me. I am his calming force at night I guess. It doesn't take 5 minutes after I lie down for him to fall asleep but he needed me there.

That's a good feeling. To be needed.

But to be rested. That's a good feeling too.

Enjoy!

From the beginning of now....
I have been more than happily married for almost 5 years now.
Chris (the husband) is an Army man. He is hardworking and takes a lot of pride in whatever he does.
I guess that's what I admire most about him.

I am a new mom to my hilarious Baby Bean.
The nickname "Bean" comes from his daddy who is the "Original Bean".
Cam (the baby) is our newest pride and joy. He continuously puts a smile on my face. I love to watch him learn new things every day.

This is the first time..in many moons now..that I don't have a job.
by "job" I mean a place I have to get up, get dressed and go to.
Being a stay-at-home mom has its perks. The best one being that I get to see my Baby Bean grow.
Who is trying to eat my arm as I write this.
To see him laugh and play every day is a dream come true.

And you thought I'd say *sleep* was the best perk! HA! I'm still waiting for that perk to arrive, my friends.

I'm getting better at the housewife part, I think. I love to cook, but the energy to do so sometimes escapes me. And it takes me a couple days to work up the motivation to really clean. But I'd do anything to make the husband's life easier after a day at "the office".

For this blog, I hope to achieve nothing more than a place to put my funny thoughts and moments and my more than occasional randomness. Sometimes, we all just need a place to put the words in our heads, right?

Being a mom is still new to me. Being a wife is still a learning experience for all involved.

Enjoy!